Words that make me laugh... and cringe.
Ah, yes, the wonderful euphemism. It's what starts as the simple word cock and turns it into "red-headed love pistol". Or more simply, breasts into melons and pillows.
But I'm not talking about euphemisms today. Awww... but that convo is so damn funny, and rightfully so.
Today, I'm talking about simple words not meant to turn an erotic piece into flowery prose or safe for work reading. Words that newbies and veteran authors use alike, words that take me right out of the sex scene and into WTF land.
I laugh and even cringe a little when these simple terms come up in erotic fiction. Why? Because they simply don't belong or they're used in the wrong context.
Here's a short list with horrible examples for your entertainment:
Penis: "The head of his penis was wet with pre-come."
Really? Penis? Sounds like a child wrote it (and so does my example). But believe me, I've made the same mistake before in my fiction. Cock really does go a long way. So does dick, shaft, length. You get the idea.
Ass cheeks: "I brushed my hand over his ass cheek, causing him to tremble."
I cannot, for whatever reason, get over laughing every time I read and write these two words. But, how else do you explain it without using "round globes"?
I can imagine using this in some erotic fiction. Maybe those involving dog/wolf shifters, but for the love of Pete, nothing else. Hence I couldn't even figure out an example to write. It's really an immature word and if any two people are "humping", I'd wonder their exact ages. *cringes*
Plow or plough or even jam: "He plowed into me..." or "He jammed his cock deep in my..."
There are a lot of readers who complain about impale. Yep, it does sound like it would hurt. But plow? That would hurt too, wouldn't it? And jam... I can only see it working for dubcon/noncon, describing that kind of scene.
And there you have it. I've stopped reading potentially good books after running into these words. So what simple words make you stop and laugh in erotic fiction?